Three College Degrees

Looks perfectly harmless and easy to assemble, right? Not so. After Honeybun told me he didn't trust my craftsmanship putting together a swing for Mr. Jack, I adopted a "don't tell me what to do, I can do it bigger and better than you can" attitude after waiting 2 weeks for Mr. Bigstuff to put the swing together and went full-throttle into the depths of what can only be described as baby swing mass confusion.

I dumped the contents on the floor, got out the instruction book and set out about my business. I made it to step 12 of 42 before I sucked up my pride and consulted HB (who keep in mind, graduated from WKU with a BS in Mechanical Engineering- that's right- throwing him under the bus right now). Disclaimer- when I consulted HB about step #12 he was 1/2 asleep and high on cough syrup, but still, he's an engineer. HB gave me attitude when he couldn't figure out step #12 and in utter frustration I quit, shut Jack's nursery door and vowed never to return. Out of sight, out of mind.

When my BFF showed up Sunday night at my house to help me clean, pack for the hospital and organize Jack's room she asked, "Where do we start?" Ding Ding, bells going off in my head... BFF has given birth to 4 daughters, I bet she knows and little something-something about putting swings together. "Oh, do you want to put the swing together? I made it to step 12." She took the bait punch line and sinker. Twenty minutes later Jack's swing is fully assembled and ready for him to take up residence. When I asked BFF how she figured out step #12 she said, "Oh, I looked at the other piece that was put together." That's why I hang out with people smarter than me- to make me look good.

Number of College Degrees it took for Jack's swing to get put together: 3 (Mechanical Engineering, Public Health and Family and Consumer Science)

Hours it took to assemble aforementioned swing: Too many to count

How cute Jack's going to look swinging in his new swing: Priceless

Shout out to Jack's Aunt Lo who bought the swing for him. She's been informed next time she decides to purchase a gift, it must be fully assembled and come with batteries. When I told her this, she replied, "maybe next time you should pick out a different swing." Good comeback.