I Hope We Pass

Honeybun and I started our "Prepared Child Birth" Classes last night. Needless to say, he was more than thrilled when I signed us up for this six week course. (Yes, you read that right, it's going to take us six weeks to learn all we need to know. Other courses are offered, but this was my retaliation for HB's every weekend in January Duck Hunting Trip.) I learned lots during the first session and I can only hope every other one is as exciting and informative (only a hint of sarcasm intended).

HB & I pulled into the parking lot and saw one of my former arch enemies packing in two pillows and a blanket. Honestly, we almost dropped out of class before it even started. But, that would be too easy of an out for Honeybun so I put my big girl panties on (which are getting bigger and bigger every day), hopped out of the truck and ventured into the hospital. The teacher (who I really liked- she's like a cuddly grandma) took us on a tour of the OB unit and told us a little about what to expect when we checked in to have the baby. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to try my hardest to have little man on a slow day. The "suite" rooms, which are first come, first serve, are twice as big as the regular ones. It might get a little claustrophobic.

Back to the story. While on tour we had to troop up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Being funny I said, "No one told me there would be stairs involved." Which freaked out the girl who was leading the group. She tried to explain she didn't think we all would fit on the elevator and was sorry. Look dude, I was just joking. You know, lightning the mood? I was admiring the girl in front of me jeans (they were super cute) and made a comment about them to HB. He replied, "her husband is a millionaire." Which got me asking, who, what, when, where and how come? HB didn't answer any of my questions until we drove home because he said I was being "that girl." Whatever that means. We did see them drive off in a Corvette, which if you ask me, is highly impractical for an infant seat.

To finish off the class we practiced breathing exercises. Due to my inappropriate laughter syndrome this was hard for me. I can't seem to be quiet and go to my "happy place" while sitting in a room full of strangers and not trying to sniff when I was breathing in. The teacher talked about how we need to practice our deep breathing and relaxation because the last set of contractions will come faster and last longer than the first. She would call out "contraction" then "peak contraction" then "contraction over." During the last set it really was hard to keep the breathing regulated. After it was over Honeybun said, "That last set of contractions was hard on me." Yeah, if that gets said in the delivery room someone's going to get a black eye. She also told us to make the delivery room as relaxing of an environment as we can. We can dim the lights and play soothing music. I guess that rules out my first choice of T.I., Jay-Z and a disco ball.

It might not have been Honeybun's choice for a fun filled Tuesday night, but I think he did learn something. His new slogan is "Breast is Best." He's getting t-shirts made (complete with puff paint and glitter) and is practicing using it in inappropriate situations, like when we are walking down the hall at the hospital. He also likes to say, "Skin to Skin," but for some reason that one isn't as much fun.

I can't wait for next week!